The Strange Mystery of The Big Breasted Bimbo
by William Suarez
Summary: This Fan Fiction tells the story of a group of friends who are thrown into a video game world and the interesting characters they meet along the way including Macho Man Randy Savage, Randy Orton, Michael Rosen, and many more meme related characters. This story was written by a group of people working in the same Google doc. Each paragraph is written by a different person.
1. Chapter 1: The Big Breasted Bimbo

**Chat-PurJuan: The Big Breasted Bimbo**

Mark, Caleb, Garrett, and Joe were walking through the forest when suddenly a bimbo appeared out of the fog. This was no ordinary bimbo...this bimbo had massive tits, that were being carried on either side of it by two dwarves hauling them in wheelbarrows. When the bimbo got close enough to the gang they were offered three wishes. All they had to do was rub the right tit of the bimbo, and any wish they desired would be granted. Mark was the first to approach the bimbo. He thought for a minute and scratched his head. Mark then rubbed the right tit of the bimbo rapidly. Then out of nowhere Randy Orton appeared in front of the group. The bimbo looked back in shock as it was viciously RKO'd without pity or remorse. The bimbo then got back on its feet and smacked Mark so hard across the ass that he flew backwards through the trees and was never seen or heard from ever again…

Now for the second wish. Garrett approached the magical creature and rubbed as Mark had done. Garrett audibly announced his wish to the world: "I wish for Miku to be real so that we can do the dirty ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)." The obese one stood up on its toes and shouted at the top her (aka the bimbo) lungs, "Herpity, Derpity, Oh great Macho Man in the sky, grant this young seeker of Blue-haired Maidens his lustful wish, may she please him until he forgets his own name." In exactly forty-four seconds, a gust of wind blew across the land, blowing leaves in a cyclone in front of Garrett, as the leaves dissipated, Miku was standing in front of him, wearing nothing but some hair pins.

Garrett's jaw flew open with excitement, she looked at him with eyes of confusion as if she had no idea where she was. Just like that, a feeling took over Garrett; it was a moving feeling; Garrett's heart was in a flutter due to either Miku being naked or just the overflow of passion. Miku said nothing but looked tremendously embarrassed for she had no clothes. Caleb then walked up to Garrett and nudged him, "Dude you are drooling…." He said with a funny look. Garrett closed his mouth and wiped the saliva from his mouth. "Dude make a move Bruh, and ask her to suck me off!" Bibby thundered1. Caleb scolded Bibby for such harsh mannerisms and ushered Garrett to give her his shirt. For now Garrett moved over to her and took of his shirt and then showed her his amazing, oiled up pecks. She blushed as Garrett handed her the shirt. Then out of a nearby bush, a gremlin jumped. This little goblin had a Jew-fro and a saucy 'stache mayonnaise and jumps in/to Miku's ass and motor boats her ass. Garrett was angered by this and everyone was appalled. He released her ass and grabbed the bimbos cock and began to suck like a shopvac and after an explosion of white sick shit the gremlin yelled, "Put all us neck shits into a video game world!" and just like that the bimbo bent over and spread its hairy asscheeks and a blackhole opened up and sucked everyone in.

The gang ended up in a dark, dank cave. The smell was absolutely repulsive, like a skunk crawled up the bimbo's ass and died. "What?! Is that a poop rat?" Bibby thundered! A small, furry creature ran across the fleshy floor. "We must go deeper!" exclaimed the goblin. The gang started to move deeper into the cave and found Randy Orton beating the shit out of the CD-I Link. "Yo Randy! Snap into a Slim Jim!" Bibby roars as he rips off a bit of his Slim Jim. Randy Orton brutally murders the rip-off Link, and joins the gang deeper into the cave. A bright light flashes and suddenly the gang is transported to an entirely different world. "Man, we're neck-deep in shit," Garrett exclaims. "It's almost like Dungeons & Dragons," Bibby says. "Fuck my ass, why haven't I had a part in this story yet," says Joe. "And why's my health bar so big? I didn't think I was that tanky."

When they are dropped into the videogame world they landed into a pool of water when they all surfaced they looked around and realized that they were in a women's bath. Garrett said "Cliché much?" All the girls kicked us out and we dried our clothes and investigated the "new world". They realized that they all had different stats and abilities. The big-breasted bimbo met them again but this time her breasts were gone. She explained that her magic came from her breasts and she could only get enough power to grant wishes if she was well-endowed again. The bimbo gave the group some money to stay the night and we approached the inn owner, Michael Rosen2. He said, "You want rooms or snatch?" The rag-tag group didn't have enough money for snatch so they just got a room. During the night Garrett initiated a move onto Miku, but the man with the jew fro had a tendency to spoon Garrett in his sleep. Garrett yelled for help and Joe woke up, went to the man with the jew fro and pressed right, down, and diagonally down and Shoryukened the jew fro into the ceiling. Randy Orton woke up suddenly and hit a cabinet with his head and Harrybo's grandfather's dead body fell out of it. Harrybo's grandad landed on Caleb and Caleb yelled "Huauh!" and threw the dead body out the window and into the dumpster. This ended the mildly disturbing night.


	2. Chapter 2: Fields and a Female

**Chapper Too: Fields and a Female**

Mark felt something gently pushing his side, he slowly opened his eyes to realize he was face-first on the ground. As he started to raise himself, he felt great pain all over his body. He started to realize that he could see things that weren't there, he recognized these things as a health bar and stats, and his health was low. "What…?" he thought to himself, when suddenly he felt someone lifting him up to his feet. He looked around to see a field and a lone tree. He scratched his head, wondering who had helped him to his feet. He turned around only to see a face right in front of his. He let out a startled scream and fell backwards, pain surged as he hit the ground.

Standing in front of him was a girl. She was about his height and had light brown hair. She reached towards Mark and helped him up once again. The unknown girl said, "Are you alright? You took quite a fall there." Mark stared quietly at her. Confused, he asked, "What?" He was swiftly replied with an answer: "I saw you fall out of the sky, right into that tree. And then you fell from the tree hitting just about every branch on the way down. You were unconscious for probably 20 minutes. I stuck around and made sure you were alright. Here, take this." She handed Mark a red potion. He quietly thanked her and drank it. Immediately, most of Mark's wounds disappeared and he felt a lot better. [Achievement Get: Lift the Jug, and Drink a Bit] Mark was about to thank her again, but she cut him off, "I'm Aria, nice to meet you!" Mark replied shyly, "I… I'm Mark." He looked at Aria. She was very cute and looked to be his age. He looked into her green eyes and thought to himself, "Is this my wish? No, wishes like that just don't happen to me." As he was thinking, Aria exclaimed, "Look out!" and knocked Mark to the ground as a ball of fire quickly hovered mere inches above them. "We have to be careful, this is the Tree of Dragons, they probably didn't take kindly to you breaking yourself on their tree. We need to run!" They both quickly got up and ran away from the tree.

In the morning, the group woke up to the magnificent Bibby the Sky Foof's voice exclaiming that Mark has arrived in this gaming world with a girl. Everyone was surprised when Bibby said 'girlllllllll', but they were all proud none the less. The bimbo that we named "Tina" met us in the morning. We all set out on a journey to go find Mark and his girl. During the walk to the next town, Tina told us the way to expand her breasts and dong was to massage both simultaneously with the secretions of a love beetle, the rarest bug in the world. The goblin with the fro volunteered to do the dong. Suddenly, a mouse jumped out of the grass and started to attack. Everyone stopped moved for a while and everyone was confused. An cursor appeared over Garrett's head because he had the greatest speed stat. Because we didn't have any weapons on us he picked up a rock and threw it at the mouse. It took about ¼ of its health away and then it was caleb's turn.

Caleb ran up and did a leg sweep at it and the mouse now had about a half of its health left. The mouse bit Joe on his chest and his ability activates and he flexes and the mouse explodes. Everyone stared at Joe in amazement and Joe smugly looks back and says "Straight-up badassery"[Achievement Get: Look Out We Got A Badass Over Here]. That was Joe's ability that instant killed the mouse. However, Joe did take 1 damage to his health which wasn't that bad because he had 2000 health. Tina ran up to Joe and rubbed her somewhat-flat chest over his face and restored him to full health. Everyone was now embarrassed but they continued to the next town. The next town was called Galetower and as soon as they got to the gate trouble appeared. The guard exclaimed, "Hey if you want to get in you'll have to pay a fee." Caleb realized that the guard wasn't really a guard at all and he was just trying to shake us down for money. "If you don't have any money then beat it," the swindler said as he spit on Randy's face. Randy quickly stole the swindler's knife and beheaded him, and he just keeled over and died. Miku started to scream, but Garrett covered Miku's mouth with his own. Everyone's mouth dropped to the ground and we quickly hid the body in a nearby river which was actually a pond and it turned blood red. [Achievement Get: Total Pond Scum]

The gang eventually reached a gigantic town. Garrett coyly said, "Man this town is almost as big as my dick!" Miku's eyes grew big and she pulled Garrett down a back alley. The group shrugged and continued on to the market place. Joe decided to check out the large array of armor they had available, psssshhhht! Like he needed it. As he was looking at a particularly interesting breastplate, he felt a sharp sting on his arm and a bag was placed over his head. One by one, every member of the gang was abducted. When they finally came to, they were tied up in a dark, cavernous room. A tiny incandescent light flickers on and they see a man standing in front of them. "You work for me now." The voice is unmistakable! It's Morgan Freeman!

The gang (at this point only Joe, Tina, and the Goblin) walked down a long hall to a large room with many weapons on the wall. A man in a black cloak sat behind a desk cluttered with swords. "So you work for the big boss now, eh?" said the cloaked figure. "Hold on a sec," he stood and tossed sheathed weapons towards the party members. The Goblin unsheathed a pencil sharpener. He took out his dick and sharpened it into a weapon sharp enough to pierce the heavens. Tina withdrew the skin flute she had caught in her mouth. "This is fantastic, and so BIG!" she exclaimed. Joe caught an impressively huge greatsword. He flicked the blade out of the sheath with a shimmer. "Thanks for the masterwork weapons… uh, what was your name?" Joe said. The cloaked figure smirked and replied, "Ben, and I'll be joining you on your mission."

During this kidnapping Randy Orton felt a tap on his shoulder, he turned around to see who it was but there was nothing there...As he was about to say something, his mouth was covered up by an invisible hand. A voice spoke to Randy Orton and said "Your time is up, my time is now...Come with me if you want to live". Randy Orton then realized who is invisible savior was...it was none other than WWE Superstar JOHN CENA. Randy Orton felt two powerful hands grab him around the waist as he was put on the back of the still invisible Cena and carried into a open sewer drain leading downward into the sewers.

When they reached the bottom of the drain John Cena became visible to Orton and said "You can see me…" Orton began to well up as a tear ran down his cheek. The two then began to bro-hug, As the two of their muscular chests met a loud boom was heard that broke the sound barrier. Then a hurricane-like wind blew through the tunnel knocking Orton and Cena off of their feet. In this confusion Orton RKO'd Cena, which left him unconscious on the sewer floor. Randy looked up and saw a crack in the wall at the end of the tunnel that was emitting a very bright light. From the crack two hands emerged from the wall attempting to enter the world. Randy stared in awe as an entire body came out of this small crack in the wall and fell on the ground. The unknown being got to its feet and turned to face Orton and let a cry "OHHHHHHHHH YEAAAH MACHO MAN'S COMIN 4 YA." Randy Orton then reached the peak of euphoria and passed out from pure Climax. The sewer then went pitch black and not another sound was heard...except for muffled trumpet music in the distance…


End file.
